Monday, August 30, 2010
Meeting the man of my dreams,
and meeting his beautiful wife.
Isn't
it
ironic?
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Blessed
Sometimes, everything just works out.
The right place, the right moment, the right everything.
Even when you had doubts at first.
Even when things stood at standstill and you paused that little pause of hesitation...
But He has it all planned.
And no matter how much planning you make, only He can make it happen.
Nothing but the best from Him.
Redha. Syukur. Alhamdulillah.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
You don't owe me anything. You paid me well in memories.
That smile
That laugh
That walk
That hair
That smirk
That face
That giggle
That ear
That shirt
That eye
Ahh baby. You married too early.
Monday, March 23, 2009
"Change Is The Only Constant"
Life works in mysterious ways. People change. Friends become strangers, relationships fall apart. Like what's new? You don't have to live that long to know that.
There are people I can never see the same way ever again. And I mean ever. I don't really care what happens to them, what they do or how they live their life. Unfortunately, if you have similar circle of friends, hang around at the same places, there are times you just have to be civil. Smile a bit, ask a few questions, pretend to be interested... and just having to do that makes me sick to the pits of my stomach because I can sense my being contradicting itself. I normally can't be a hypocrite in any sort of relationship. At least for now so don't quote me on it. In the future I might need to suck up to bosses for an early promotion or something. Who knows, you gotta apply survival skills SOMEWHERE.
I also abstain disclosing my dislike of certain people to others and bring them to my side on that matter... because that is just downright shallow. It's a personal issue so I don't think there's a need to get everyone on my wagon. People who are too nice also freak me out. They make it seem like they have an ulterior motive. Are they even honest at it? Or do they desperately want people to like them? But you can sense downright genuine ones as opposed to those who're nice because they've wronged you and are forever trying to make it up but failing helplessly they just end up becoming insanely annoying. I swear sometimes I just feel like saying get out of my freaking hair!
On a whole, I believe I'm not very judgemental. I can take people who live a 180 degree turn from the way I live mine as long as they are nice (and not too nice) to me and don't drag me along their weird and crazy antics. And preachy people who think they're better than everyone else, don't even get me started. Just because you've gone to a better place, doesn't make you think you're on a higher pedestal than everybody else. Because God knows, I've been there when you were down so low I had to look past my soles, so save it.
Like I said, life works in mysterious ways and "change is the only constant".
Monday, January 26, 2009
She loved the guy. She did it for him. She would've done anything for him. Some women are like that. Some love are like that. Most love are like that from what I can see. Your heart starts to feel like an overcrowded lifeboat. You throw your pride out to keep it afloat. And your self-respect. And your independence. After a while you start throwing people out- your friends, everyone you used to know. And it's still not enough. The lifeboat s still sinking and you know it is gong to take you down with it. I've seen that happen to a lot of girls here. I think that's why I'm sick of love. - Shantaram
And I'd learned, the hard way, that sometimes even wth the purest intentions, we make things worse when we do our best to make things better. - Shantaram
When you judge the power that is in a person, you must judge their capacities as both friend and enemy. - Shantaram
You know the kind of power I'm talking about, don't you? Real power. The power to make men shine like stars or crush them to dust. The power of secrets. Terrible, terrble secrets. The power to live wthout remorse or regret. - Shantaram
There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.
-Lord Byron in Into The Wild
"I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness. A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them. And work which one hopes may be of some use. Then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor. Such is my idea of happiness. And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children perhaps. What more can the heart of a man desire?"- Into the wild
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
"My friend Didier says that praisng people behind their back in monstrously unfair, because the one thing you can't defend yourselves against is the good that people say about you"
Jealousy, like the flawed love that bears it, has no respect for time and space or wisely reasoned argument. Jealousy can raise the dead with a single, spiteful taunt, or hate a perfect stranger for nothing more than the sound of his name.
Each day when the men prayed, I knelt with them in silence. And at night, enclosed within the breathing, snoring swathe of their soldier-scented sleep - smells of wood-smoke, gun oil, cheap sandalwood soap, piss, shit, sweat soaking into wet-serge, unwashed human and horse hair, liniment and saddle-softerner, cumin and coriander, peppermint tooth powder, chai, tobacco, and a hundred others- I dreamed with them of homes and hearts we longed to see again.
It was just that all the hope had been so empty, so meaningless. And if you prove to a man how vain his hoping was, you kill the bright, believing part of him that wants to be loved.
You can't kill love. You can't even kill it with hate. You can kill in-love, and loving, and even loveliness. You can kill them all, or numb them into dense, leaden regret but you can't kill love itself. Love is the passionate search for a truth other than your own; and once you feel it, honestly and completely, love is forever. Every act of love, every moment of the heart reaching out is a part of the universal good. It's a part of God, or what we call God, and it can never die.
Men wage wars for profit and principle, but they fight them for land and women. Sooner or later the other causes and compelling reasons drown in blood and lose their meaning. Sooner or later, death and survival clog the senses. Sooner or later, surviving is the only logic and dying is the only voice and vision. Then, when best friends die screaming, and good men maddened with pain and fury lose their mind in the bloody pit, when all the fairness and justice and beauty in the world is blows away with arms and legs and heads of brothers and sons and fathers, then, what makes men fight on, and die, and keep on dying, year after year, is the will to protect the land and the women. You know that's true when you listen to them, in the hours before they go into the battle. They talk about home, and they talk about the women they love. And you it's true when you watch them die. If he's near the earth or on the earth in the last moments, a dying man reaches out for it, to squeeze a grasp of soil in his hand. If he can, he'll raise his head to look at the mountain, the valley or the plain. If he's a long way from home, he'll think about it, and hell talk about it. He'll talk about his village or his hometown, or the city where he grew up. The land matters, at the end. And at the very last, he won't scream of causes. At the very last, he'll murmur or he'll call out the name of a sister or a daughter or a lover or a mother, even as he speaks the name of his God. The end mirrors the beginning. In the end, it's a woman, and a city.
If so much love could vanish into the earth and speak no more, smile no more, then love was nothing. And I wouldn't believe that... I didn't know then, as I do know, that love's a one-way street. Love, like respect, isn't something you get; it's something you give.
There wasn't any glory in it. There never is. There's only courage and fear and love. And war kills them all, one by one. Glory belongs to God, of course; that's what the word really means. And you can't serve God with a gun.
She'd confused honour with virtue. Virtue is concerned with what we do, and honour is concerned with how we do it. You can fight a war in an honourable way - the Geneva Convention exist for that reason - and you can enforce the peace without any honour at all. In its essence, honour is the art of being humble. And gangsters, just like cops, poloticians, soldiers, and holy men, are only ever good at what they do if they stay humble.
I love money, but I hate the smell of it. The more happiness I get from it, the more thoroughly I have to wash my hands afterwards.
And love was beautiful in her. It was a clear sky she gave us with those eyes, and a summer morning with her smile.
There are a few things more discomforting that a spontaneous outburst of genuine decency for someone you're determined to dislike for no good reason.
The only kingdom that makes any man a king is the kingdom of his own soul. The only power that has any real meaning is the power to better the world.
Luck is what happens to you when fate gets tired of waiting.
For this is what we do. Put one foot forward and then the other. Lift our eyes to the snarl and smile of the world once more. Think. Act. Feel. Add our little consequence to the tides of good and evil that flood and drain the world. Push our brave hearts in to the promise of a new day. With love: the passionate search for a truth other than our own. With longing:l the pure, ineffable yearning to be saved. For so long as fate keeps waiting, we live on. God help us. God forgive us. We live on.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
...the lies we tell ourselves are the ghosts that haunt the empty house of midnight.
There is in you, as there is in me, a morbid belief in love, and a fascinaton for the madness that love puts in its victims.
YOu can never tell what people have inside them until you start taking it away, one hope at a time.
They claim a hidden corner of our hearts, all those moments that stay with us unscreamed. That's where love, live elephants, drag themselves to die. It's the place where pride allows itself to cry.
