posted at 2:44 AM

An old friend nudged me online and we chatted for a bit, just to catch up on things. Good to hear she graduated. And we made big plans for summer, hoping to get the whole gang back home for 'our' first wedding. I can only cross my finger and hope my academic dates allow me to fly home in time for the wedding. I hate the way we are all over the world. If we all get to meet in the summer, one place, one time, it will probably be the highlight of my summer. All that is playing in my head is our old times. Our evenings in the Athinahapan park, panas-panas pun nak keluar. Our bike adventure to the mild forest before they cleared everything. Do you remember the times we skipped class and had the tarik in the canteen? Do you remember we climbed the trees in school? Do you remember our awesome tuition teacher? I do. I do. I do. I stil have that picture of us from sports day up on my wall. There's some things about all of you I don't like, and I am sure the feelings mutual. Sometimes I need to complain to someone else about you, just because I need to let it out. But I just have to take one look at you girls to realize that it is both the good and bad that makes you you, makes me me and makes us us. To be honest, I hate the way we have ended up, the way we're all seperated and our lives are heading into different directions. I want to bang my head against the wall now because I only spent ONE day in the summer with my bestfriend. The three years we sat together in class.. and I could only afford ONE day with her. Stupid, Unforgivable. You watch me this summer, we are having a blast, I promise!

I miss you girls. I may not have your pictures on my Friendster, I may not write you mushy testimonials, I may not send you birthday presents every year, because I don't think I need to justify to the public world how I feel about you. They don't need to know that I wish all of you a wonderful wonderful life ahead of you. Love love love.

Lonestar

posted at 11:19 PM

I want a simple life my mother's, one true love for her older years.

When you think Tim McGraw I hope you think my favourite song,

the one we danced to all night long

She can handle any champagne brunch

Bridal shower with Bacardi bunch

Jello shooters full of Smirnoff

But tequila makes her clothes fall off

Chase your dreams but remember the road that will take you home again

We said our goodbyes, swore that we'd keep in touch,

then we went our separate ways knowing no one ever does.

I loved her first, and I held her first, and this place in my will always be hers.

I judge a man by the woman and her smile,

the light in her eyes, the way she holds him when they dance.

She's the window to his soul, his best friend don't you know?

You judge the day by the sun but you judge a man by the woman.

This downtown apartment sure makes me miss home

and those bills on the counter reminds me I'm on my own.

And just like every Sunday I called momma up last night

and even though it's not I tell here everything's alright.

It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken that never learn to give

It's the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live.

My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be

so with my best, my very best I set you free.

Close you eyes and hum along I'll sing you one more love song

If everything is alright why don't you just crash here tonight?

She's in love with the boy

and even if they have to run away

she's gonna marry that boy someday

Too strong doesn't mean it's for long

Too deep doesn't mean it's for keep

Fast doesn't mean it will last.

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow

and each road leads you to where you want to go.

And if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

And if one door open to another door closed

I hope you keep on walking till you find the window.

If it's cold outside show the world the warmth of your smile.

I hope you never look back but never forget.

All the ones who love you in the place you left.

I hope you always forgive and never regret

and you help somebody every chance you get.

I hope you find God's grace in every mistake

and always give more than you take.

posted at 5:13 AM

malas tau, malas.

penat dah.

dah tak kuasa.

bodoh punya tax, kan tiket dah mahal.

babi betul

nak balik pun susah.

urgh!

posted at 10:02 PM

Happy Birthday, my biggest crush. Ever.

I wish you joy and happiness and smooth sailing all year through.

And I also wish to one day wake up and realize that I never never really loved you

and you will wake up to realize that I always always did.

Happy 23rd.

posted at 7:46 AM

Happy New Year.

06 was one of the best years of my life.

I travelled, Paris, Barcelona, New Zealand, Monte Carlo, Dublin.

I partied, Summer Ball, Reunion, Halloween, Birthday, Christmas.

I may have loved, him.

I look forward to what 2007 has in store.

'Astrologically', my stingy love stars are going to be generous in April.

Rich, smart and funny, please. (In no particular order)

On a different note, I am in love.

Very very very much in love.

Still in love.

Unrequited love.

I still stalk his online profile, and I die a little bit with every passing picture.

I still wonder what he sees in her. What do I not have?

"If this is only a crush, then I don't know if I could take the real thing if it happens"

"Why do they call it a crush? Because that's how you feel when they don't feel the same way in return"

"The mark of a true crush is when you fall in love first and grope for reasons afterward"

ahh...

posted at 10:17 AM