The sign in the window said for sale or trade,
On the last remaining dinosaur Detroit made,
Seven hundred dollars was a heck of deal,
For a four hundred horsepower jukebox on wheel,
And the road rolls out like a welcome mat,
I don't know where it goes but it beats where we're at,
We always said someday somehow,
We were gonna get away, gonna blow this town.

What about now, how bout tonight?
Baby for once let's don't think twice,
Let's take that spin that never ends,
That we've been talking about,
What about now, why should we wait?
We could chase these dreams down the interstate,
And be long gone before the world moves on
and makes another round.

We've been putting this off baby long enough,
Just give me the owrd and we'll be kicking up dust,
We both know it's just a matter of time,
Til' our hearts start racing for that county line.

We could hang around this town forever making plans,
But there won't be another time to take this chance.
----------------------------------------------------
He said 'I was in my early forties'
With a lot of life before me,
When a moment came and stopped me on a dime,
I spent most of the next days, looking at the X-rays,
Talking bout the options, and talking bout sweet times,
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end,
How does it hit you when you get that kind of news,
Man, what 'd you do?

He said,
I went skydiving, I went Rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu,
And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying,
I watched an eagle as it was flying
And he said,
'Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying'

He said,
'I was finally the husband that most of times I wasn't'
And I became a friend a friend would like to have
And all the sudden goin fishing wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read a good book
and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
---------------------------------------
Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead,
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken,
Yesterday is a kid in the corner,
Yesterday is dead end over.
Don't close your eyes
Coz today is all that you've got now,
And today is all you'll ever have.

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it all that you dreamed it would be?
------------------------------------------------------
Dear Cherry, cheer up. The world has got loads to offer!

posted at 2:32 AM

posted at 12:47 PM

posted at 2:01 AM

I woke up this morning to a call... like I was hallucinating. I could've sworn I heard my brother's voice clearly calling out "Kaklong" to me. It startled me and I woke up with a jolt, looking around for a familiar face that I had so call heard just seconds before.

I lay in bed wondering what had just happened. For a moment, I was scared. I couldn't go back to sleep. I lay motionless in bed, my eyes blinking in confusion. The call had seemed so real... yet reality was right before my very eyes.

My menstrual cycle has never been late before. It's always earlier by a week or almost on time. Not this time around. Maybe the accumulating stress has affected the moons. (No, I'm not pregnant, thank you.)

This blog is becoming really depressing. So much for being the cherry. Ha ha ha!

--Lola

posted at 11:02 PM

My head constantly throbs... painfully. I have a hard time trying to sleep. I would go to bed early but only end up tossing and turning for hours before I finally fall asleep. I would wake up several times during the night for apparently no reason... well sometimes to pee. Bottomline is that I can't seem to sleep soundly.

I wake up to nightmares. I used to never wake up remembering what I dreamt but now I do. Which is not a good thing all the time. My appetite is like always... superb. However, my tummy doesn't seem to agree with my appetite. I puked my favourite dish, my mom's sambal udang. I am really a sambal freak. Whatever I consumed after that seems to just linger around in my tummy, not digesting. I can somehow feel like I could throw myself up any minute.

It's truly not a good feeling.

My little brothers are here. I've missed them so much. We played card games all night yesterday and I took them out to BK this evening. They really haven't been out in a while. On our way there, they kept pointing out to buildings asking what those were, some were in construction and the last time they were here, the buildings weren't around yet.

Where they stay now, my poor little beings are confined to their bikes cycling around the compound playing among themselves. Tonight I'm taking them out for a movie.

--Lola

posted at 6:56 PM

but I am very much alive too. I have learnt so much in the past two months than I ever could in the confined walls of a lecture theatre. I learnt that responsibilities are responsibilities and there is no alternative way about it. Running away won't solve the problem and people don't appreciate it when you dump your problem on their shoulders. Friends don't do that.

I learn that people with conflicting ideas can work it out if they set their sights on the same objective. After all we're all heading to the same place from the same place, only we want to use different routes. Some want to cruise and take it easy, some want to speed down the highway. To my project advisor and assistant director, I miss the hours we debate and rebut only to agree hours later.

I learn that when working with a big team, and being a leader, you have to trust each and every member of the committee to carry out their duties. trust. I worry that some things are not done. I want to ask, to remind, to tell them to report to me but I can't because then I am robbing them of their independence and I am work for me instead of work with me. It's very different. So instead I ensure them that they can consult me anytime if anything goes wrong. And say thank you, it goes a long way. People want to be appreciated.

I also learn that human beings are full of emotions. Some wear it on their sleeves, some pour their heart out through their writings, some bottle it up inside only to open up to those very close to heart. And I guess you have to let them deal with emotion the best way they know how to, and not the way you think is best, because after all, its their emotion. If they need to cry, let them. If they need to throw something against the wall, let it be thrown. If they need to shout, let them hit their highest note.

I learn that there will always be people who refuse to see the good, but choose to highlight the shortcomings. But with these people, its best to walk away. Its either they don't want you to celebrate the big day, or deep inside they wished they're part of it.

There was a time when I almost gave up on this project, because it became too hard and too tiring. I'm glad they talked me out of it. At least when I look back on my days at uni, I have something to remember it by, and its more than sitting in my room at night watching reruns of f.r.i.e.n.d.s.

posted at 8:45 PM

It's weird. Too much rationalizing is taking its toll on me. After a while, it just turns into fuming rage. One can only bear so much. I need to get to know more people. I need to go do something exciting. Otherwise, I think I'll sink into an abyss of deep depression.

I can't seem to see light at the end of this neverending, dark, narrow tunnel. It's as if everything is light years away and unreachable. I feel like I'm slowly fading into oblivion. Everyone and everything seem to be dark patches of something in a boring, bland-looking cornfield.

I'm bored and tired and sounding like a whiny teenager. How irritating is that?

I miss my friends. I miss my family.

I'm alone on a long, meandering journey.

Sorry my onions(LostSoul and Lonestar), the cherry has been a little down lately.

--Lola

posted at 2:43 PM